Mohyal Online

Anger Management

Anger is an emotion which, at times, is more hurtful then Physical injuries. The physical effects of anger include increased heart rate, blood pressure etc. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically when a person makes the conscious choice to take action to immediately stop the threatening behavior of any outside force. Extreme anger and obsessive thoughts can be signs of depression. Like any other emotion, it is accompanied by physiological changes ie  when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at any specific person or any situational or time  stress ie event (a traffic jam, a cancelled flight etc etc ), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings. We  express anger by responding aggressively.

Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats. It inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviours, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger,  is definitely necessary to our survival. On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us. Laws & social norms place limits on how far our anger can take us.
There are three main approaches ie expressing, suppressing, and calming

1.     Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner

2.     Stop thinking about the issues disturbing you  and focus on some other  positive issues. However prevent anger  turning inward ie on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression

3.     You can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behaviour, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.

Note: When none of these three techniques work, that's when someone or something is going to get hurt.

The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can't get rid of or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.

Why Are Some People More Angry Than Others?

Some people really are more "hot headed" than others.

They get angry more easily and more intensely than an average person. People who are easily angered generally have low tolerance for frustration. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust. Generally People, who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications. It's best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

How To Avoid Anger

·       When you are subjected under Instantaneous Stress

When some people are subjected to Instantaneous Stresses, they tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms which may reflect their inner thoughts. Your thinking may get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. We must try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones under such situations.

For instance, instead of telling yourself,

"oh, Everything's ruined,"

Tell yourself

 "It's frustrating, but it's not the end of the world. Getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow”

And thereafter try to Relax by deep breathing and calm down your angry feelings by saying “ All is Well, All is Well”

Examples of Instantaneous ie Spontaneous Stresses are Road Accidents, Some One abusing you etc

When you are subjected to Situational  Stresses

When you are being subjected to Situational Stress, your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve particular Situation.

Under such circumstances, Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better and Anger may actually make you feel worse. Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational.. Remind yourself that you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of life. The best attitude to bring to such a situation, is not to focus on just finding the solution only, but rather on how you must handle and face the particular situation.

Non strenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer. Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in stressful situation.

·       Better Communication It's natural to get defensive when you're in conflict.  but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the message that other  person might feel to convey. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let your anger spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one

·       Using Humour "Silly humour" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humour can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation. Use humour to help yourself face the situation more constructively. Second, don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humour; that's just another form of unhealthy anger expression. For Example I used to loose anger on the Bad & Abusive behaviour of Mr Guddu Singh. I started imagining his name as "Jhuddu Singh" and used to draw imaginery funny pictures of Jhudu Singh in my mind. Every time, I saw him with his  family, I imagined Jhudu Singh along with  Foot balls ie his family members . I  could substantially vent my anger after the misadventures of the individual. Whenever i met him on Cross Roads, I recollected his funny Pictures and gave him Broad Smile. ( Of Course My Internal Anger has now been transferred to him )

·       Changing Your Environment Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on  you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into. Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful. One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the first 15 minutes "nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire." After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them. Some Other Tips for Easing Up on Yourself
Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at night—perhaps you're tired, or distracted, or maybe it's just habit. Try changing the times when you talk about such important matters. You shall find these talks do not turn into arguments. Avoidance: If your child's chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don't make yourself look at what infuriates you. Don't say, "well, my child should clean up the room so I won't have to be angry!" That's not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm. Finding alternatives: If your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of rage and frustration, give yourself a project. Learn or map out a different route, one that's less congested or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train. Do You Need Counselling? If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counselling to learn how to handle it better. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behaviour. Remember, you shall never be able to  eliminate anger completely from your life.  In spite of all your efforts, there shall be situations which  cause you anger may be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but definitely you can change the way you let such events affect you & your health by controlling your Anger.

Psychologists recommend a balanced approach to anger, which both controls the emotion and allows the emotion to express itself in a healthy way. Some descriptions of actions of anger management are:

Direct, such as not beating around the bush, making behavior visible and conspicuous, to indicate angry feelings clearly and honestly,

Honorable, such as making it apparent that there is some clear moral basis for the anger

Focused, such as sticking to the issue of concern, not bringing up irrelevant material.

Persistent, such as repeating the expression of feeling in the argument over and over again, standing your ground, self defense.

Courageous, such as taking calculated risks, enduring short term discomfort for long term gain, risking displeasure of some people

Passionate, such as using full power of the body to show intensity of feeling, being excited and motivated, acting dynamically and energetically, initiating change, showing fervent caring, being fiercely protective, enthusing others.

Creative, such as thinking quickly, using more wit, spontaneously coming up with new ideas and new views on subject.

Forgiveness, such as demonstrating a willingness to hear other people's anger and grievances, showing an ability to wipe the slate clean once anger has been expressed.

Some Anger Management Quotes

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. – Buddha.

For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.

Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.

Seneca.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing

Will Rogers.

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging

Will Rogers.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret

Ambrose Bierce.

How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it

Marcus Aurelius.

Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help

Thomas Fuller.

No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched

George Jean Nathan.

There was never an angry man that thought his anger unjust

St. Francis De Sales.

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow

Chinese Proverb.

If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size

Sydney J. Harris

He who angers you conquers you

Elizabeth Kenny

Anger is one letter short of danger

Eleanor Roosevelt

If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot

Korean Proverb

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Malachy McCourt

Resentment is stabbing yourself to get at the person behind you Unknown

Resentment is setting yourself on fire so the smoke will annoy someone

Unknown

Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools

Albert Einstein

Anger is short-lived madness

Horace

Anger blows out the lamp of the mind

Robert G. Ingersoll

Anger is a killing thing:  it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him

Louis L'Armour

To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee

 William H. Walton

Alok Mohan  www.mqc.in

DREAMS & DESIRES

Our mind and body always yearn for something,what, we do not have. Our mind is  designed in such a way that we do not give any  value for something we already have.All humans are born with several desires. A strong, successful man is not the victim of his environment. He creates favorable conditions. His own inherent force and energy compel things to turn out as per his  desires. How ever he must bring his desires down to his present means.

We, therefore, must increase our desires as per our available means viz we must control our desires.To control desires means to leave what ever comes as hurdle in the way of our life journey. Anything which distracts us from our destination is a hurdle and we must detach our self from such negative desires. Remember

“Life moves between attachment & Detachment. Some times Attachment gives Pleasure & Some times Detachment gives Pleasure” Therefore we must learn the art to  Attach or detach from our Desires.

This does not mean that we must not dream. Without dreaming nothing is  possible. A builder uses architect to plan a building or house on a paper and there after he  proceeds with  Construction Work.  There is no harm in dreaming our future and planning it. It is our first duty to handle and see family well beings with legitimate ways. We must try our best to please our co-travellers of life ie family & community members. Only then our life journey shall be pleasant. No need to control our dreams, but  one should have a control on his desires. Remember if we have control on our  desires, we shall understand  its importance. Our wishes and desires are driving forces and motivating points in our life. No matter what point we may be in our lives, we always have some wishes and desires to guide us and to force us to stand up and take notice of our lives. Even if we say we have nothing to live by, it is our desires that still drive us on. Our dreams are also     un full filled desires of our life. When we say that our dreams have come true, we imply this to our expectations. Desires and expectations always lead to great rewards. People generally rise to the level of expectations, which has been set for them. Our Thoughts therefore align with our dreams and desires. Only what is required out of us is that we must do hard work. We only loose, when we  give up Hard Work. Dreams only can not  fulfil our desires. We must work hard. Dreaming is  like looking at the sky and waiting for a shooting star to pass by or perhaps waiting for a fairy Godmother to grant our wishes/desires. We must work hard to translate our Dreams & Desires to achieve Success.

Remember

"THE ROAD OF SUCCESS IS ALWAYS UNDER CONSTRUCTION”

Alok Mohan

www.mqc.in

Attitude & Behaviour 

Attitudes develop during one’s formative years of life. Human Traits develop based on,  what we read, what we hear & see and What we think & imagine.

These  inputs are judged/evaluated by our brains on a continuous and cumulative basis and it is these values that we get from them which create and direct our attitudes. Attitudes are therefore  our reactions to our experiences in addition to  role played by our genetic make up in terms of “how we judge or value each experience”. A person's attitude & behaviour keeps changing as the situation in life keeps pouring 'inputs' into that person. True, some traits take longer to under go changes.

Genetic level qualities too are yet stronger. That is why the system of 'arranged' marriages which also involves “Family background, Roots, Astrological Matching etc ... has withstood as a tradition for thousands of years.

   Social rules, intrinsic rules set out by cultures or groups of people, that govern interaction and communication between various ethnic groups. An Individual’s Behaviour may be considered  appropriate in one ethnic group, but then the same behaviour  may  completely be unacceptable in another ethnic group. For example, in some families/ethnic groups it is against their conscious to eat non-vegetarian food. It is morally not acceptable to eat non-veg food, while for others it may be perfectly normal.

The Conscience therefore  allows and disallows different behaviour patterns among different groups. Society has created many rules for appropriate & inappropriate behaviours. If the human society do not  differentiate between appropriate and inappropriate behaviours, then there would not be any difference between the human society and the animal society ie  there would be no difference between humanism and animalism.

I understand, so far Behaviour Specialists have identified three thousand  Behaviour Patterns ie Traits.

To develop Positive attitude & Good Behaviour/Mannerism among children following are the tips for Parent 

1. BE FIRM, CONSISTENT, AND KIND   Remember the power of praise and reward. Use a positive attitude and not a punitive one in dealing with your child. Establish clear ground rules when the child is young and keep those rules with appropriate amendments. As the child matures and improves in judgment, give him more leeway.

2. LISTEN     Listen actively to your child. This sets a good example and helps the child feel important and valued. Remember, if you do not want your child to tune you out, do not tune the child out.

3. DO NOT HAGGLE OR NEGOTIATE OVER SMALL THINGS   --  Make a clear decision. Right or wrong, it is better than haggling. .

4. GIVE CHILD CHORES   --  Keep the chore appropriate and keep clear guidelines as to who will do what and when. Select one or two chores and be prepared that it will also take your time. Goodwill and many calm reminders may be necessary to get those chores done. Parents who share duties and chores with their child help to build self-discipline and a sense of responsibility.

5 HELP THE CHILD REMEMBER  --  Many children are forgetful. Keep a short list of tasks. A list is impersonal, and the child will gain satisfaction as he checks off those tasks that he completes.

10  PRAISE OR PUNISHMENT MUST BE IMMEDIATE  & APPROPRIATE BEHAVIORS SHOULD BE REWARDED

It is nice to be sensitive with child. But being "over sensitive" can prove other way.  For instance, when you speak to him and he cries at the drop of a hat - that hidden message, from him, is: "If I cry people will sympathise me and understand that  I just can't take criticism and they won't do it again because they know it makes me cry"

This act  works very well for the child. He is  controlling you  in a very manipulative way.

We must reward good behaviour of a child adequately to prevent him controlling us and at the same time, we must make him understand that  good behaviour do not benefit always like this

“But the consequences of bad behaviour are always, always “very un pleasant”

Alok Mohan

www.mqc.in

Managing Time

I think time is the only thing that makes us realize that we are mortal. It helps us to understand that we are changing ie growing up and getting older, both mentally as well as physically. Hence to bring success in our lives , time management is important

Time is the most precious wealth we have. Once time is gone, it would. never come back. We must learn how to manage our time, as time is as good as wealth. I remember my school days, when our teachers advised us to make time table and assign appropriate time for each subject  and we used to make timetable. Any student who could manage his  time successfully, could score higher then others in various exams.

Our life also do need similar time table so that we don’t waste time in non- productive activities and are successful in all of  those endeavours, we attempt.

We must make a "To Do" list every day and use spare minutes wisely and find the right time to do tasks,  

Following tips may help with time management:

1. Don’t waste time. For example now a days people waste lot of time in Web Surfing, On Line Chatting, checking un desired e-mails/Spam etc.  

2. Carry a notebook.   If we carry a note book & pencil, then  Even if  we have 15 minutes to wait at the doctor’s office or any other place, we can begin to formulate a blog post or sketch some of our  other ideas/plans

3. Keep a calendar. We are used to keep several things in our head and just get them done as quickly as possible. But if we  keep a calendar in which we plan out projects, estimating the number of hours things will take. This exercise may go a long way towards eliminating time stress in our lives and we witness we have a clear plan for getting everything accomplished on time.

( Time Stress: To understand Time Stress, let us assume Two places ie  Place A & Place B are 60 Kms apart. It takes one hour to cover the distance by Motor Cycles. If a Boss instructs an individual to cover the distance in 45 minutes, the individual shall be subjected to time stress and may exhibit abnormal traits. He may drive rashly and may meet with accident. Same case is true with our life journey)

4. Work anywhere and everywhere. We may use laptop and get some things accomplished any where & every where .

5. Break all tasks into small bits. If  you have even one minute, You may utilize that minute to  get closer to finishing your task.

6. Learn to say no. That is a hard one for some… really hard but it definitely helps in relieving you from Situational stresses.

 Alok Mohan

www.mqc.in

Some Time Quotes

The habit of looking to the future and thinking that the whole meaning of the present lies in what it will bring forth is a pernicious one. There can be no value in the whole unless there is value in the parts.

BERTRAND RUSSELL, Conquest of Happiness

Time

Like a petal in the wind

Flows softly by

As old lives are taken

New ones begin

A continual chain

Which lasts throughout eternity

Every life but a minute in time

But each of equal importance

CINDY CHENEY, "Time"

Little drops of water, little grains of sand,

Make the mighty ocean, and the pleasant land.

So the little minutes, humble though they be,

Make the mighty ages of eternity.

JULIA CARNEY, Little Things

The long unmeasured pulse of time moves everything. There is nothing hidden that it cannot bring to light, nothing once known that may not become unknown. Nothing is impossible.

SOPHOCLES, Ajax

On the human imagination, events produce the effects of time. Thus, he who has travelled far and seen much, is apt to fancy that he has lived long; and the history that most abounds in important incidents, soonest assumes the aspect of antiquity.

JAMES FENIMORE COOPER, The Deerslayer

We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths;

In feelings, not in figures on a dial.

PHILIP JAMES BAILEY, Festus

r

The universe may be timeless, but if you imagine breaking it into pieces, some of the pieces can serve as clocks for the others. Time emerges from timelessness. We perceive time because we are, by our very nature, one of those pieces.

CRAIG CALLENDER, Scientific American, June 2010

Organizing for Success at individual level

Getting organized pays us handsome rewards. We must avoid drowning in a sea of paperwork & enhance our productivity with efficient systems & concentrate on information flow. Disorganization costs time, money, frustration and possibly our health. What we need is a  motivation to change  the available  tools and methods.  Getting organized pays us handsome rewards. As we are aware a messy, cluttered desk always contributes to loss of control, lack of focus, incomplete work, lost information and missed deadlines. The only remedy to get out from such situations is that we should

 “Be  wise & organize”

FACT” of  organizing is

“File it, Action it, Calendar it, Trim it”

To find a place for all your papers is one thing but to  actually find them, literally in seconds, when you need them is more important. As an individual you must  have a “System”, a  time-tested filing system and you see you become  Paper Tiger and  become an invaluable part of the Organization, where  you are serving.

Organizing for Success at Community level

Any Community seeking success at organization level must have a clear vision. It is not necessary for each individual to be a visionary leader and  make a difference in a community. All what is required is that each individual should have a desire  to focus his  energy to achieve success, while the visionary leaders may identify visioning efforts of each individuals and design appropriate visioning process and formulate Vision statement and common values so as  to achieve community Goals. The Vision statement should be easy to read, easy to understand & easy to remember and should be highly inspirational. Community Leaders may organize events to celebrate all major milestones for increasing awareness among individual community members. This would help them to have better control over time and all assigned tasks. We find increased productivity with such value-generating activities. We all are aware that One of the most important things, when we are organizing our life for success, is that we must have an  environment that is conducive with our goals. Therefore we must Schedule our activities for Success and Productivity. We must create an environment conducive for achieving our community goals of success.

Alok Mohan

www.mqc.in

Attitude for Success

Attitude Determines your Altitude. By choosing right attitude, you get in that mood and send out positive  messages to the out side world so that  everyone understands you consciously or unconsciously. Almost always, you have a choice as to what attitude you must adopt to achieve Success. There is nothing in any situation that dictates one to to react in a particular way only. If you feel angry about some Situational Stress  that's how you choose to feel. Events shall subject you to Stresses. But nothing in the events may  make it absolutely necessary for you to feel in a particular way. It is your choice. And since you do have a choice, most of the time you'll be better off if you choose to react in a positive rather than a negative way. For Example Two vehicles meet a road accident. No one gets hurt. After the accident, both the Drivers are obviously subjected to situational stress. They may react in one of the following ways

1.    They congratulate each other as they have escaped un hurt after the Accident

2.    They blame each other for wrong driving and may also fight & hurt each other

Power of Positive Attitude is not what happens to you that counts in such situations. It is how you react to what happens to you, especially when you have such unexpected & un foreseen problems. Positive Attitude Means Longer Life. If you want to live a longer, healthier life then you need to develop and maintain a positive attitude. People spend  lifetime searching happiness, looking for peace. They chase idle desires, dreams etc etc ,  hoping to fill the emptiness that plague them. The irony is that the only place they ever needed was,  to search within. Attitude is therefore a state of mind or a feeling. Attitudes reflect a tendency to classify objects and events and to react to them with some consistency. Attitudes are not directly observable, but rather are inferred from the objective, evaluative responses a person makes. Attitudes are the established ways of responding to people and situations. People have endless desires for money, happiness, knowledge, peace of mind, success, satisfaction, name & fame, self actualisation etc etc.
But to  hit the mark, It is not just enough to have a good bow and arrow, or a good rifle/revolver/gun, What is required is that  your aim should be good. Attitude is the aim, and ability is the gadget

We're social beings. We are all dependent on one another in someway or other. To be successful  in our society means playing well with others. You're less likely to get the job, or the promotion, or the respect of others, if people perceive you as a jerk.....no matter how qualified or how smart you may be. You must note that Positive Attitude is  the key to success and for every key, there is a matching lock. Open the Mind Lock using the Positive  Key of Attitude. The door towards success shall automatically open wide and shall invite you to travel a pleasant journey. The Journey may be short or long, Easy or difficult, interesting or boring but you must travel this journey with pleasure. Having Positive attitude, therefore is a stepping stone towards Success. Success angel  blesses those people, who have  positive attitude and hand over an invaluable gift called "ACHIEVEMENT".

Truth & Reality

Truth becomes a lie only when you look at in just one angle that is you concentrate on one aspect and exaggerate its importance. When you look at it from  all aspects it becomes truth.

Truth is just the Truth. How you view it, is what makes the difference from the point of the perspective. Truth is not partisan. Truth is within us...meditate and realize
Truth sometimes hurt other people, as it could be something they don’t want to hear.

People may judge you for the truth and it would just be easier to tell a lie. lies can hurt too though. you cant live a lie forever and when people find out you've been lying to them its never good. you end up making things more complicated than if you had just told the truth in the first place. Truth is dynamic and subjective, truth is like quick silver. So if you capture truth and feel glad , you would never realise what you possess in not the ultimate truth. I think truth is more of a perception than reality. True or False is dependent on our perception of reality, which is distorted by our internal need to enjoy our selves. All of our senses function in order to serve our selfish desires Why do people perceive particular things differently? It is all in relation to what they want, which is truly our essence as human beings; selfish desire. To know truth, we have to exit our subjective projection of reality, and enter a field of forces that compose our matter

Truth and reality are not too different from each other. Truth and reality are whatever a person believes them to be. A truth for you may not be a truth for me; a truth is based on opinion based on that persons individual evidence and interpretation of that evidence. My truth of a certain thing can be very different from the truth of that same thing for the man in the apartment next to mine. Everything we see or hear comes through our personal filter of experience, assumptions, and even physical position and is believed to be true by the observer and is the 'truth' of the thing observed.

A reality is based on an individual's own experience. My realities, may be quite different from your reality.. We both have different lifetime experiences, access to information, and individual interests., your reality or some other person’s  reality may not necessarily be the same as mine. Truth is a  fact that has been verified while Reality is our  experiences that determine how things appear to us
Truth is independent of our beliefs while Reality is the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they may appear or may be thought to be. In its widest definition, Reality includes everything that is and has being, whether or not it is observable or comprehensible. The intensity of pain or pleasure or an intensity to understand spurs one to seek the Truth. Truth & Confidence are the roots of happiness.

When  Seeking reaches at the peak, The Truth shines. During this seeking, you may meet many persons, refer books and so on till you see the Truth. Seeking takes you to your destination. Truth sets you free, so any bonding even with any other individual will be a barrier. The real truth is within you, and when you meditate you will find its all within you and no where out. All true people rejoice in repentance, mercy, and justice

Awareness of  Reality  & Truth: we see that in all our perceptions we have two types of awareness. First is the awareness of reality and second is the awareness of the object associated with reality. The reason such a distinction can be drawn is because while the awareness of objects keep on changing, the awareness of reality remains constant. When we  gain an insight into the Truth   through open mindedness and knowledge. The Truth is out there we just have to have your eyes opened to see it.Faith, Forgiveness and compassion  are  true paths which will lead us to truth. Serving others, Simplicity and Sincerity are advised to seekers of truth.

There are many ways to understand truth. Whether or not you find peace in it, depends on whether you've found a viewpoint that resonates with you. No religion is closest to truth. only spirituality is closest to truth. God is one, but there are many ways to reach him.

All religions contain rules, hopes, prayers, etc etc. It's up to each of us to conduct our own search for truth: to think, feel, learn, experience, to find our own paths, and to find peace within ourselves. There is no distinction, insofar as I can see.

.

Alok Mohan

www.mqc.in

Managing Stress

Stress Management Techniques

Stress Management ie self management is more than Anger Management and Relaxation. There are many different ways to manage stress. We must  use most effective stress management techniques For example

• Feel Good about your Selves
• Take Care of your Body
•  Develop  Right Attitude
• Develop Right Environment

1.    Feel Good about your Self

If you want to bring down your stress level in a matter of minutes, following techniques will help you. Use them as needed to feel better quickly.

Practice them regularly over time and gain even greater benefits.

·         Deep Breathing from the Abdomen

·         Meditation

·         Having a dose of Laughter

·         Progressive Muscular Relaxation

·         Listening to light music

·         Practicing Yoga

·         Aerobic Exercises

·         Creative Visualization

2.    Take Care of Your Body

When we're stressed, we don't always take care of our bodies, which can lead to even more stress. Here are some important ways to take care of ourselves and keep stress levels lower.

·        Eat Healthy low fats – high protein meals

·        Have six to eight hours of  regular sleep

·        Exercise regularly

·        Develop a Hobby

·        Have healthy Sex Life

3.    Develop the Right Attitude

Attitude plays a great role in managing stress. Much of your experience of stress has a lot to do with your attitude and the way you perceive your life's events. Here are some resources to help you maintain a stress-relieving attitude.

     ·        Let go our Ego

·        Have a Optimistic approach to life

·        Do not react under pressure

·        Stop Worrying about things not in your control

·        Accept that everything cannot be perfect

·        Find an opportunity in every problem

·        Say good things to your self – affirmations

·        Have a health sense of humor

4.    Develop the Right Environment

Having ambiance and pleasant environment make stress management very easy. Our physical and emotional surroundings can impact our stress levels in subtle but significant ways. Here are several ways we can change our atmosphere and lessen our stress.

·        Clutter free home, office and working desk

·        Green and Clean surrounding

·        Light instrumental music

·        Motivational Posters

·        Words of  Wisdom

5.                 Short Tips for Busy People

Busy People add a lot of stress to their already stressed life. People who may have more stressors in their lives is because they have more activity in their lives, and less time to devote to stress management. If you're a busy person, these resources can help you to manage stress efficiently in a short amount of time, and eliminate some of

what's causing you stress in the first place.

·         Time Management Tips

·         Communication Skills

·         Listening Skills

·         Managing Priorities

·         Enhancing Team Work

·         Enhancing People Skills

     Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of our thoughts, our emotions, our schedule, our environment, and the way we deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun – plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on. We must try to be Calm and have clear thoughts and possess quiet confidence.

  Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in our lives. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Our true sources of stress aren’t always obvious, and it’s all too easy to overlook our own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. We may know that we are constantly worried about some or other issues. But maybe it’s our our procrastinations rather than the actual requirement that leads to the deadline stress.

We generally tend to adopt unhealthy ways of coping with stress and these  coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run.

6. Following are common unhealthy ways

·        Smoking

·        Drinking too much

·        Overeating or under eating

·        Zoning out for hours in front of the TV or computer

·        Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities

·        Using pills or drugs to relax

·        Sleeping too much

·        Procrastinating

·        Filling up every minute of the day to avoid facing problems

·        Taking out your stress on others (lashing out, angry outbursts, physical violence

7.  Following are healthy ways to cop with Stresses

We can increase our resistance to stress by strengthening your physical health and adopt following healthy ways 

·        Exercise regularly. Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week.

·        Eat a healthy diet. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day.

·        Reduce caffeine and sugar. The temporary "highs" caffeine and sugar provide often end in with a crash in mood and energy. By reducing the amount of coffee, soft drinks, chocolate, and sugar snacks in your diet, We will feel more relaxed and sleep better.

·        Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs. Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs may provide an easy escape from stress, but the relief is only temporary. Don’t avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.

·        Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally

8.  Recognizing Stress

Stress symptoms include mental, social, and physical manifestations. These include exhaustion, loss /increase of  appetite, headaches, crying, sleeplessness, and oversleeping.

Escapism through alcohol, drugs, or other compulsive behavior are often indications. Whenever we feel alarmed of these indications, we must start  exercising, run in a nice area or a park and keep our mind out of such behaviour!  Remember God as is prescribed in our Religion during such situations. He is  the only one person, who  can completely help us. I'm not saying this in a religious way as  I'm not a religious person at all, but whenever I remember my God, whether I'm in trouble or not, He answers me, make me calm and shows me the love that I could  never imagine before. Frustration, or apathy may accompany stress, therefore keeping cool even when we are angry definitely helps. Controlling anger, diverting mind in doing things we like and in this process we may even get the ways of solving a problem. We must select a suitable place where we can calmly think, ie a place,  where no one can disturb us. You shall find that such Stress Management Techniques have worked for you. People may have wrong  opinions about you, but you  must have faith in your self and  must not fear pain due such people surrounding you. You  must be  truthful only and see  the Ugliness in the lies of such people.. You shall definitely experience beauty of your life.

Remember, Death is not an end, but a beginning of another life and God has given us the power to change our existing  life only.

Hate is nothing more than Ignorance and Love must touch our hearts. Love removes  the darkness of our life. If  we  learn to laugh at our self then we shall realize that we have  gained wisdom every day and our life just keeps getting Better & Better .

Past shall  no longer hurt you. Truth would always give you  Strength and you shall  never fear in  life.

Alok Mohan

www.mqc.in

Self  Development 

1. Manage Stress

• Handle stressful situations.
• Raise your Self-esteem whilst you lower your blood pressure.
• Reduce stress.
• Recognize causes and symptoms of stress.
• Convert fears and negative feelings into positive tools.
• Inspire confidence in all.
• Be more positive and productive at work and at home

2. Attitude for Success

• Build powerful attitude to improve quality of your life
• Ease difficult situations with humor.
• Trigger enthusiasm in everyday life.
• Build positive approaches to problem solving.
• Boost your self-image by enhancing your appearance.
• Increase your confidence.
• Enhance your creativity.
• Share you positive attitude with others it s contagious!

3 Organize for Success

• Avoid drowning in a sea of paperwork.
• Find anything in seconds.
• Enhance your productivity with efficient paperwork systems.
• Improve information flow.
• Sort and act on incoming mail with ease.
• Stay abreast of reading.
• Enjoy greater freedom and creativity.
• Reduce stress.

4 Learn Powerful Communication Skills

• Write compelling reports and memos.
• Overcome writer s block.
• Conquer your fear of public speaking.
• Run productive meetings that stay on schedule.
• Learn time-saving alternatives to meetings
• Improve your leadership and team-building skills.
• Build stronger relationships.

5 Manage Time

•  Develop a Time Management System that works for you.
• Balance multipurpose priorities with ease and confidence.
• Accomplish more in a short space of time.
• Learn to recognize and make maximum use of your peak energy periods.
• Meet deadlines with ease.
• Improve efficiency in day-to-day tasks.
• Plan for long term goals now.
• Become more positive and gain a sense of accomplishment from your work.
• Have more time for fun!